forever fat?

It has been a month since I posted anything on this blog. TWO months since I lost any weight. In fact, I have actually gained a little. Which makes me wonder...Will I be fat forever??? Maybe I'm just doomed to be a fat person. It is so HARD to lose weight. And so EASY to gain it back. If I could just stay at home and have a boring life, I would do better at sticking to my plan. But, darn it! My life is full of too many exciting detours that include great food!

I have gained a little back, but not all of it. And we go to Sedona in 10 days. Yikes. It's obvious now that I won't have lost that original goal of 30 lbs. I was ok with that. Not even the new 20 lb goal is attainable at this point. That makes me sad and disappointed. I had the time. I could have done it. But I didn't. 

So now I am making a last ditch effort before we go to get to that point of having lost 10 lbs, and maybe a pound or two more. Then I won't be a total failure. I was so good yesterday (the day I started). It's only 10 days. I can do this. I will be good. 

back on the wagon

This is getting serious. How will I ever reach my goal if I keep taking these "little breaks" here and there? I gained 4 lbs, since my break-through weigh in. Was that three weeks ago? It must have been. I did alright when we went to Virginia, but then I lost all control on girls weekend in San Diego. And I didn't get back on track this last week that I have been home. Now is the time to do it. Do or DIE!

I already exercised this morning and had my protein shake. It's a good start. Let's hope I can get rid of that extra 4 lbs this week (haha) and get back to losing weight.

week 16: -1.7, 11.7 lost, 8.3 to go

Hold on to your butts, people . . . THE 10 POUND BARRIER HAS BEEN BROKEN!!! I have been very frustrated sitting at the same weight for three weeks. Last week I said to myself, "FORGET IT!" Not forget it completely, but I decided to not post anything and not weigh in. I have been exercising and kind of tracking my points. But I really just needed to stop obsessing over it.

So I did.

And I finally lost weight.

1.7lbs!!!!

The End

p.s. i weighed in today because tomorrow we leave for a long weekend in williamsburg. it will involve lots of walking to make up for some yummy food i know i will eat. i'll be good though. i promise.

week 14: 10 lost, 10 to go

Soooooo... I haven't lost weight in two weeks. It is very aggravating. And I'm kind of sick of trying. That's pretty much how I felt this week. Hopefully I can get back on track and back in business this week.

The good news is that I have actually lost inches!

(and i can't wait to look like this person in the pic)

Let's break it down starting with the not so impressive,

and then working our way to the most impressive:

ARMS: nada. zip zero. ok...
BUST: -0.5 inches overall. oh, how i can't wait for this # to go down more.
THIGHS: -1 inch overall. This is actually impressive because I just lost that inch
    in the last month. Go figure! I had no idea I was losing inches in my thighs.
WAIST: -2 inches overall. I love this number.
HIPS: -2 inches overall. One of those inches is from the last month! That alone
    makes me SO happy. Who wouldn't be happy with that?
PANTS: -1 size. This one feels huge to me. And I am thrilled. I am most definitely
    down one size, and feeling very comfortable in it. And I'm not going back!

3 month mark: 10 lost, 10 to go

I AM SO FRUSTRATED.

FRUSTRATED.

I hate weighing myself, and I hate the scale.

UGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!


Thank you for listening... I needed to get that off my chest. SO, I have gotten into this very unhealthy habit of weighing myself everyday. Ever since Christmas, I have been freaking out about not losing weight. Now that I think about it, that's probably why I'm not losing as much weight. Well, anyway, my weight fluctuates a lot every day. Like within a two pound range. This week the scale is saying that I gained weight. For reals. I'm telling you right now that I don't believe it. I did the same thing I did the week before when I lost two pounds. How could I have gained??? It's so stupid. I'm saying my weight is the same as last week. The same dumb 10 pounds lost.

Now, losing ten pounds really isn't a dumb thing. I have to stop being so frustrated. I should have lost 15 pounds by now, according to my original goal, but 10 is still pretty spectacular. This is why I have decided to adjust my goal. I am literally losing my mind and feeling so fat because I am not where I wanted to be. I can't move forward like this (especially when stress adds to my shoulder acting up, and it has been really bad the last two months). I have lost 10 pounds. I have gone down a size in my pants. I should feel good about that.

Thus, the new goal: Since I have lost 10 pounds in three months, I am going for another 10 in the next three months. We have to be realistic. I think I'm over losing 30. It's ok. Losing 20 would be amazing. And what if I kept it up? I could lose 40 pounds in a year! I'll take that any day. This is what my new chart looks like:

Wow. This month was lousy. WHATEVER.

Onward and upward!!!!

My goal this week is to NOT step on that scale until Friday. I will exercise every day and be really good, and feel happy with whatever the scale shows at the end of the week.

The End

week 12: -2.2, 10 lost, 20 to go

I FINALLY DID IT!!!!

A few weeks late, but I finally lost 10 pounds.

I was so angry last week that I decided to do whatever I could to make this week count. And it worked.

So now I have 20 pounds to go. In 13 weeks? Eek. I don't know about that. But maybe I could lose another two pounds this next week. Let's go for that and then see how I feel. :)


Here is where I'm at:

Forget blurring out the numbers. I really don't care anymore. Fat is fat! SO, I reached my 5% goal. Zip-A-Dee-Do-Dah! I get a star for that, and a star for each of the 5 pounds I lost. Yay, me! My next small goal is 10% which is five pounds away from where I was when I lost weight in 2008. How did I get so fat?? (don't answer that)

The biggest news of the week is that I officially moved down a size in pants. All of my fattest pants are GONE. Good riddance.

forty minutes

(exercising in the basement) 

If I don't lose weight this week, I just might crawl in a hole and die... I have made a serious effort! You might need to sit down for this -

I bumped up my exercise to FORTY minutes!

I did 30 minutes on the elliptical last Saturday; and then 40 minutes Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Today I did 20. That is major. And I've been sticking to my points pretty well.

This rut I am in is really starting to get to me. Things had better change this week!